Finally buckled

Well, my health has continued in a downward spiral. Everything seems to be building upon each other so I have finally buckled and made a doctor appointment with an internist down here.

Why is it such a big deal? Well, when you have as many "complicated" problems as I do, each time you go to a new doctor they run a slew of tests. It is such a process that I hate going through. But, it has gotten to the point where my anxiety is at a high and it needs to be done. It is especially hard when you go to a doctor that isn't thorough and caring and every time you go they have to re-read your chart trying to remember you and your problems. Hopefully I have found a doctor that won't be like that. If I don't feel good about her, I'm walking out. Really.

Dan is so busy and I hate having to rely on his so much. This has to get taken care of. Could use your prayers!

Non-healthy sleeping habits

The last couple of weeks I have not been sleeping well at night. I find myself laying in bed (thinking, usually) for hours on end. YET, I am so stinkin' tired ALL the time. What is my deal? I feel like it's a vicious cycle that I can't pull myself out of. Any ideas?

(FYI, I have been stressed with a lot of things lately so I know that contributes to it. I lay awake thinking of things I need to do but usually get up and write them down so I can get it out of my mind. I think about my young women and my yw calling a lot too. A lot. Yes, I have also tried getting up and out of bed. Yes, I have also tried reading and such. Yes, I have tried sleeping pills. They usually work but I don't want to depend on them.)

Re-vamp

I made this blog intending just to lose weight. However, now I realize that there is so much more to being healthy than just being "skinny". A truly healthy person is fit physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This will now be my journey getting to a healthier, happier me.

Sometimes I will focus on the emotional aspect as I go through trials there. Other times I will look at the emotional/mental part of my life. And, all the while, I hope to improve my eating habits and look for fun, new ways to lose weight and get in shape!

Having a good day yourself? Having a bad day? Let's break it down to the roots and focus on getting healthy, all around, together!

Favorite Breakfast Right Now

Honestly, very good. DAN even likes it. (Thanks for the recipe, Amber.)

about 1/4 c. vanilla yogurt
handful frozen strawberries
a scoop of chocolate protein powder (I use slim fast)
a few ice cubes
milk (just to the consistency you want)

I like it thick, so I don't use much milk. But really, this is very good. The first sip tastes a little like slim fast, but from then on out---it really tastes like a regular milkshake/smoothie.

Long time coming

I'm trying to get back on track. Don't know quite how yet....but I am working towards it.

After being shut in most of the summer and just getting off a delicious diet of cruise cuisine, I'm definitely feeling the aftermath. Suggestions?

Mermaid or Whale?

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?”

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman in the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends - dolphins, sea lions, curious humans. They have an active sex life, and they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with all their sea friends. They play and swim in the seas of the world, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone and everything in the world.

Mermaids, on the other hand, don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis.. Fish or human? They wouldn’t have sex lives because stories tell that they kill men who get close to them. Besides, how could they have sex? Just look at them...where is IT? Therefore, they wouldn’t have kids either. And what man would want to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a piece of chocolate with my friends, and a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads. When there is no more room in our heads, the information and wisdom distribute out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, “Good grief, just look how smart I am!”

Excuses?

It's been a month (almost) and I haven't blogged. It's NOT because I have totally fallen off the bad wagon, but more so because I have been lazy with the blogging about it. Here's my problem; I'm not so sure blogging every week helps me so much. I know I need to report my progress and such---but sometimes when I am not successful due to being sick or whatever, it makes me feel guilty and even more frustrated. What should I do? Suggestions?

Here are my other dilemmas:
1. I know my stomach medicine makes me retain water. I also know my depression medication makes it quite difficult to lose weight. Should I consider switching medications? I'm really nervous too------but maybe it would be nice to see if something else works and doesn't make me retain.
2. It's really hard for me to eat "healthier foods". For example; this last week if I ate fresh veggies or fruit I would bloat up like I was 5 months pregnant. For reals. It is so uncomfortable and discouraging. Not to mention painful.
3. A lot of times with my gastroparesis I don't have an appetite and don't want to eat. This usually last for a couple of days. Now, of course I do eat throughout the day, it's just more minimal. I can't force myself to eat when I feel that way though, because then I end up getting sick to my stomach. Thus, it's really difficult for me to get on a schedule of good eating habits.
4. My periods have been HORRIBLE the last 6 months. I have going to the doctor in about two weeks to get checked out, but overall, one weeks out of the month I have NO energy and find myself sitting on my butt trying to get through the day.

I am sick of excuses but what do I do?

Maybe I should go on my old strict gastroparesis diet? (soft foods, all the time?) Maybe that would help my stomach to the point where I can not feel so sick all the time. But what kind of fun is eating soft foods all the time? Yogurt and applesauce get old real quick!

Maybe I should try new depression medication. Maybe it would help me lost weight quicker.

Maybe I should stick to the meds I have because I know they work and I don't want to mess with it.

Maybe I should stop worrying about things so much--especially my weight---and just take it a day at a time. I dunno.

Last night I broke down and told Dan how frustrated I was that I want change in my life but how do I bring it about when I feel sick and tired all the time. I have a chronic illness---and I know that many of you don't understand it, but try to imagine what it is like to be sick almost every day. It's very frustrating. I don't want to use it as en excuse. Believe me I would love to live a normal life (as far as being well is concerned), I would love it!!!!

Please know this is embarrassing and difficult for me to talk about.

So what do I do? I am SO open for suggestions.

eating for energy

I've been burning the candle at both ends this week so I found this article in the A.M. New York newspaper interesting. As tempting as it is for me to reach for sugar/caffeine, I'm trying to steer clear.

(I'm modifying the article for length)

(1) Problem : Caffeine One of the first things you might look to for energy is caffeine. However, caffeine also causes blood sugar levels to fluctuate, making the body work harder, diminishing energy. Yes, you may feel that initial boost, but it is usually followed by a downward crash.

(2) Problem: Sugar We all know the common myth that sugar provides fast energy, causing people to grab candy and other chemical-heavy processed snacks. Like caffeine, you may feel a short lift, only to crash. Refined sugar requires extra effort to digest because it lacks vitamins, minerals, and fiber. The refining process strips sugar of necessary nutrients, so the body exhausts its own stored minerals and enzymes to absorb it. This drains the body of energy and causes it to crave more sugar.

(1) Solution: Water The first order of business when it comes to boosting energy levels? More water. Most Americans are chronically dehydrated, so before you reach for dehydrators like sugar and caffeine, down a glass of water and wait a few minutes. the formula for the amount of water you should drink is simple. Take your weight, divide it by two, and that is the number of ounces of water you should drink per day.

(2) Solution: Greens & Grains Add dark leafy greens like broccoli, collard greens, bok choy or kale into your diet. Greens are full of vitamins and nutrients and ideal for improving circulation, lifting spirits, purifying blood and strengthening the immune system. Choose whole grains like steel-cut oats, quinoa, brown rice or kasha, which digests slowly, keeping blood sugars leveled and creating lasting energy.

(3) Solution: Natural Sweeteners Ditch the sugar and choose gentle sweeteners like maple syrup, brown rice syrup, agave nectar and stevia, which won't drain your body or cause dramatic spikes in blood sugar levels.

Summing it up: Maintaining steady energy levels requires a balanced diet and lifestyle. Using caffeine or sugar to remedy the problem will only exacerbate it, so it's best to take small steps.

Cutting out all sugar and caffeine at once may only lead to withdrawal symptoms and eventually to failure. Slowly incorporate more greens in your daily diet and experiment with natural sweeteners.

Written by Roxanne Anderson, Certified Holistic Health Counselor

Week 15, and a fresh outlook

This week again wasn't the greatest week. Although I had some mild workouts, I really didn't do much. Most of it was due to the fact that from Wednesday on I stayed indoors with Kate who had eye surgery. Though she was doing well, her eyes are still very sensitive to sunlight, wind and such. Thus, Thursday, Friday and Saturday I spent most of my time inside. I know I should have done some videos or something, but I didn't. My laziness built upon itself and then I got the munchies. Bad. I snacked a ton----------

So, I had another bad week and I have to say that I am embarrassed. But seeing the posts that y'all have posted this week really reminded me why I wanted this in the first place. I have always had a difficult time losing weight but that shouldn't be an excuse. I just need to focus and (as my mom said) just stick to it. It's also true that I just don't want to "lose weight" I want to change my lifestyle.

I have notice in the last couple of months my energy levels have totally increased. I believe that most of that is due to the fact that Kate is sleeping in later and taking a good nap during the afternoon, but I think exercising and eating better has helped. I also have been better at myself talk and trying not to put myself down so much. So, overall-----it hasn't been a total loss and I just need to keep moving forward.

I'm really going to push myself this week. Really----

WEEKLY GOALS: 1. Exercise three times this week 2. Try a new healthy recipe 3. Work on my arms

Okay so if you don't want to pay for a gym pass here are some excellent home videos that I have and love, love, love. The Jackie Warner video is my all time favorite, my whole body hurts afterwards but in a good way. The power 90 Russ likes more because it is geared towards men and women. Check em and get one they are awesome. The Melt it off is a wonderful abs routine I promise, it is kind of corney but honestly really good.

http://jackiewarner.com/store/products.aspx?CatID=46&linkId=aap_lMen

http://meltitoff.org/

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/power90.do

IT DOESN'T MATTER AFTER ALL!

I watched on the news yesterday about a long-term study that had been done on weight loss. The object of the study was to see which of the diets worked best, low-carb, high protein, low fat, high fiber, fruits and veggies, etc. The study was done over a 2-year period on a large number (thousands) of people all over the country, and there were four diet options, which had an equal number of people with different sizes, shapes and problems in each. The results of the study were quite amazing. Each of the groups had about the same success rate! It didn't matter which diet the people were on, the ones that kept on it were the most successful.

By the way, there were two stipulations that went with each of the 4 diet groups. They had to exercise 30 mintues a day, five days a week, and they had to lower their calorie intake at least 500 calories a day from what they were normally eating. In essense, all diets are the same; the things that made a difference were exercise and eating less high-calorie food.

It only makes sense. Vegetables and most fruits have less calories and you can eat more. Sugars and carbs are high calorie and you must eat less. You need to do a little calculating to see what your normal caloric intake is, but you should not cut more than 500 calories at a measured time or your body goes into 'starvation' mode and wants to store more. After you have reached a plateau with your first 500 calories, you can take off more.

My new goal is exerise, walk, whatever for at least 30 minutes every day, and I'm going to start counting calories honestly and see where I really am. I'm hoping I see a change in my habits without having to make major changes in my diet. I'll let you know!

Let's not count last week.....

Last week was a difficult week. I ate poorly (not necessarily "junk" food, but just at bad times and such. I also didn't exercise that much. I walked with Kate but not much.

Other than that, it was just wicked busy. Dan was gone at school or studying til like 2:00 in the morning, and I was running around all week doing this and that. I just didn't have a good week. But, I am going to press forward, keep my goals from the previous week and-----ya know, not get down on myself.

yummy recipe

I saw this recipe for Apricot Ginger Chicken on Good Things Utah the other day and wanted to try it. We had it last night. It is pretty dang healthy if you substitute olive oil for the butter. Anyway, it was quick and easy, budget friendly, healthy, and delicious. Just thought I would share.

Week Fourteen and last week's review....

Weekly Goals:
1. Exercise three times this week
2. Try a new healthy recipe

So, I only made two goals for this week. Mainly because I wanted to make sure that I actually accomplished all my goals.....

HOWEVER, last week I did great! I exercised a lot (and vigorously) and I felt great. Even though I got sore, I felt really, really good. I also was on my period, so to get out and really push myself was even harder. But once I did it, I felt good. I ate well, too. Except on Valentine's Day when we made cookies and chocolate covered strawberries and raspberries (which I have to say were fantastic).

I tried to take good care of myself, too. Not just with eating better, but I tried to be kind to myself and didn't put myself down. I let myself have some alone time (made Dan take Kate for a couple of hours) and I did some projects I have been meaning to do for awhile. I prepared my lesson early as well.

All in all, I had a good week and hope to continue the trend. I have to admit though....I haven't weighed myself in a couple of weeks and I am scared to get on there. I have no idea what it will say. I almost want to just avoid it for a little while and then get on it again.....what do you think?

Week Thirteen, and last week review.

WEEK 13 GOALS:
1. Again, exercise more vigorously (at least twice)
2. Enjoy Valentines' Day with my hubby
3. Eat more veggies (most likely cooked)
4. Prepare my Sunday School lesson before Saturday


This last week was okay. I did exercise but it wasn't as vigorous as I would have like. Kate was sick...again....which limited what I could do. And, Dan was super busy at school and wasn't home to take her off of my hands. I could have exercised harder on the weekend, but we decided to go to San Antonio....which mentally and emotionally was really good (for both of us).

I also did well with my self-talk this week UNTIL this weekend. Like I said, we went to San Antone with some friends on Saturday. We took pics along the way and I really started to get down on myself when I looked back on all the pictures. Seriously, it is so hard to see yourself through film or camera. Honestly, I tried so hard not to let it get me down....but alas, I wasn't the best.

I DID do much better with overindulging this weekend. Dr. Pepper was my friend a few times this week but the only "extra treat" I had this weekend was a strawberry shake, which was mighty fine! I don't regret it one bit!

Have I even mentioned that some of the meds that I am on help me put on and keep on weight? That is a battle I am continually trying to fix. It's really frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I am either having to choose health or weight. Of course, I choose health-----but sometimes.....well, you know.

Week Twelve Goals

Here are my weekly goals:
1. No negative self-talk
2. More vigorous workouts (at least two)
3. Don't indulge so much on the weekend

Setting these weekly goals has really helped me to break down trying to reach larger goals. Anyone is welcome to do their own---even if it has nothing to do with losing weight. We can all get a little better, right?

I have committment issues...

Hi. I'm Amber and I have commitment issues. I'm not a big fan of new year's resolutions, they just seem so cheesy to me for all the hype they get. But I think it is important to always set goals and be working toward them. Somedays my goal just for the day is to get a shower!

But this year I have to be honest that I haven't wanted to set a weight loss goal simply because of my fear of failing - again. Thus, my commitment issues. However, I feel I am finally in a good place mentally to start again (if you can call almost having a heart attack after stepping on the scale a good place mentally, but hey it's motivation).

My goals are small, and I don't think I will set another one until I reach my first one. I was just checking to see if I could find a list of classes offered by Gold's Gym (Matt and I just got passes there) which they didn't, but I did find this article. While they are pretty much things we have all heard before I still thought it had good ideas and reminders.

Nearly 75% of Americans fail to keep their resolutions each year... but you don't have to go into "default." These 7 strategies will help you set — and keep — realistic goals.

It's time to turn over a new leaf in 2009 and embark on yet another quest to drop a few — or a few dozen — pounds. But you're least likely to achieve a New Year's goal when the resolution sounds like punishment: "I will never eat chocolate again" or "I will exercise every day for two hours" doesn't exactly encourage a positive outlook.

"People tend to set unrealistic New Year's resolutions for themselves that lead to disappointment," says personal trainer Jason Gerhart.

This year, avoid the common resolution pitfalls. Use these pointers to help set yourself up for weight-loss success.

1. Get SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound) goals"Don't just look at the big picture," says Elizabeth Stein, C.H.H.C. You're less likely to keep up with a New Year's resolution like "I will lose 40 pounds" because it sounds bleak and out of reach. Instead, set an attainable goal that can be obtained through small action steps: "This week I'm going to strength train twice for 30 minutes." Or "This week I will go to two spin classes," or "add 50 percent more whole grains to my diet." Don't think of your resolution as a single weight-loss goal for all of 2009, but as a lifestyle change. Is this something you can do every week?

2. Measure your weight-loss success

• Find one article of clothing that's a little snug now — jeans, a bathing suit — and use it to gauge your improvement. Try it on every two weeks and snap a photo of yourself in it to see how your body has changed.

• Weigh yourself once a week at the same time on the same scale. And always wear the same thing.

• Test your strength with a weekly push-up check. Do as many as you can until your arms feel like they might give out. If it becomes easier to do more, you're probably getting stronger and/or losing weight.

• Time a mile on a treadmill, bike or elliptical machine the day you start your new program — and every month after — to see how your fitness has improved.

3. Don't be afraid of commitment

You have to ask yourself: "Why am I trying to lose weight?" Do you want to drop pounds before your wedding? Are you trying to set an example for your kids? Decide on your reason for your weight-loss resolution and write it down. Post it by a mirror, on your computer monitor or on your cell phone. "Sometimes it sounds like a good idea to cut out sweets or get to the gym more often, but you must be truly, fully committed," Stein says. "If you don't really want to do something, it's unlikely you are going to make a change. You need to really want it."

4. Make simple adjustments

It's the little things that help. Switch your dinner dates to hiking or bowling or even cooking at home (that'll save you cash too!). Always take the stairs. Buy a pedometer and increase your steps daily. Keep a large water bottle on your desk and refill when empty. Find a new pair of sneakers that you love. Walk to your co-worker's office instead of sending an e-mail. Create a pump-up playlist that you can't wait to listen to.

5. Find someone — or something — to hold you accountable

A personal trainer is one of the best people to help you stay focused and on track with your weight-loss goals. A recent study at Duke University found that 77 percent of participants who worked with a personal counselor lost weight while only 67 percent of the self-directed group shed pounds. At the very least, find a buddy to schedule workouts with or book your workouts into your calendar as you would a meeting. "A set schedule helps you hold yourself accountable, and you'll more than likely make that Wednesday 5 p.m. gym appointment," Gerhart says. Better yet, record what you eat each day — and how many calories it cost you — in a personal food journal. If you have to log every piece of food you eat, you might think twice about that third slice of pizza.

6. Refresh your weight-loss goal every month

Recommit yourself with a new twist on your New Year's resolution every month. If you vowed to start strength training three days a week in January, then up your fiber intake to 25 grams a day in February, try a new class each week in March and aim to run a 10K in April. It's easier to stay focused if you have a fresh mini-resolution to concentrate on every four weeks.

7. Expect setbacks

If you finish a pint of Ben & Jerry's one night, don't throw in the towel. You're bound to fall off the wagon once in a while, but you can always get back on track tomorrow. "Pick yourself back up and take the opportunity to learn from the setbacks," Stein says. Missing a workout won't ruin your weight-loss plan, but giving up too easily will.

original source

Week Eleven, Review

Well, I did pretty good this week. All things considered.

I exercised more than twice, although they weren't all vigorous. Next week I am going to strive to do more strenuous workouts.

I also drank a lot more water, at least 24 ounces more a day. I bought a nice, new water bottle and would fill it up in the morning and drink it during the day. It was 24 ounces big and I would at least drink one. It definitely was a great way for me to remember to drink more water. You should try it.

Lastly, I didn't fast. I wanted to and tried to....but, I woke up this morning and in the shower I got really, really sick to my stomach. So, I needed to eat something in order to make it through the day. I guess I was a little ambitious with this goal. I never have been good with fasting because of my health problems. I am going to try to fast at the end of the month for Kate before she goes in for surgery, however.

My indulgences?
-Friday I went to Cheesecake Factory with a few friends----I got Dulce de leche, so yummy!!!
-Saturday I made caramel popcorn.
-Sunday we had a SuperBowl Party. That's about all I have to say about that.
So, it looks like I need to be better on the weekends, eh?

I think it is important that we focus on how powerful our minds are in this whole process of getting fit. You're person will transform when you're willing to transform your mind. The body is the action component of the mind. What is experienced in the body is determined in the mind because the mind doesn't have the ability to act, it sends messages to the body demanding action. The body, in turn, plays out the thought.

"The mind is capable of anything-because everything is in it, all the past, as well as all the future." Joseph Conrad

Homework:

• Start noticing your self-talk. What are you saying to yourself. Start being aware. If your dialogue is negative, replace it with positive affirmations .

Week Eleven, at it again!

Weekly Goals:

1. Drink more water. At least 24 ounces more than I have been---per day.
2. Exercise twice. Starting slow.
3. Start my fast on Saturday night,after dinner.

Here we go again.....!

Still Here.....

Still here and still working on it. Just been lazy at blogging-----

Well, I am still working at losing weight. I've been trying to exercise and eat well but I need to get back to doing weekly goals. I will start again on Monday. I REALLY want this and can still use all the help I can get.

Over the Christmas Break I wasn't the "best" at eating well. I didn't exercise on a regular basis either, but, was constantly going. Also, on our cruise, I had a tooth infection---which REALLY sucked----but it really stopped me from gorging myself with food. Bottom line: I haven't gain any more weight but I am right where I was before Christmas. I lost a month but I'm not sad about it. I had a great time with my family and friends and now it's just time to get back to work.

Jenny. . .Where are you?!!

cherise your body

The first of the year is always the time for a clean slate and renewed determination to meet goals. My husband sent me this quote that reminded me that even spiritual blessings can come from keeping your body healthy.

"I remember a blessing I received when I was serving in the military. It included counsel that's good for every young person:

You have been given a body of such physical proportions and fitness as to enable your spirit to function through it...You should cherish this as a great heritage. Guard it and protect it. Take nothing into it that shall harm the organs thereof because it is sacred. It is the instrument of your mind and the foundation of your character.

That counsel had great influence on me." - Boyd Packer.

Best wishes to every one with making and keeping your goals this year. Happy New Year!