Week Five Review---An Impasse

Well, the good news is I completed my goals. (Except one night I didn't write in my journal only because I was up until 2:00 and totally spaced it.) My workouts were all really good and I actually got sore from them, but not too sore. Doing my ball exercises are really helping my muscles tone, too. Oh, and I've lost 5 pounds.

The bad news is; I'm at an impasse. I don't know what to do. You see, I have gasteroparesis. Something I have been diagnosed with for a couple of years. It's a chronic disease and comes in cycles for me. In fact, this is the reason I quit teaching two years ago (actually right at this time of year, too). I was so sick that my body wasn't digesting food hardly at all and it was starting to effect the other parts of my body too. For example; sleep, energy, immune system, etc. My doctors encouraged me to refrain from all stress and stay in bed as much as possible in order to get out of the paresis cycle and get better.

Well much to my dismay, it has started to act up again. Especially in the last couple of weeks. I HATE using this as an excuse but it makes it REALLY hard for me to eat healthy. Why? Well, because the foods that are the healthiest for you (such as veggies and high fiber foods) are the worst for me. They don't get digested in my stomach and sit there making me sick. At times, really sick. And, if I don't start doing things that help my gasteroparesis, the cycle will continue to get worse and will eventually get to a point where there is nothing I can do about it. My dear Aunt Jan also has this condition and because of it has been home bound for the last 5-ish years. She is always in pain, never has much energy----needless to say it has taken away her normalcy in life. Thankfully, I have control over mine right now (to some extent) and can't let it get to that point.

So my problem? Eating right. I am going to stop posting the food I eat----because I am embarrassed and because it isn't that "healthy". Plus, I will be going on liquid diets and soft food diets and you don't need to read about that.

BUT----I am going to continue my blog. I SO want to improve my health in the other ways that I have control over. I am going to continue to create goals each week. I am going to strive to exercise 4 times a week. And, once I get my stomach problems under control (which actually might be the entire reason I have had no energy at all for the last three months) I plan on trying to get back on track with eating well.

So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE continue to check up on me. I will not be blogging every day, but will try to give updates during the week. I will for sure give weekly reviews and let you know how things are going and how I am meeting my goals. I'm so sorry----I hope you understand. This is actually really embarrassing for me and I feel some shame in doing this. But, I'm not going to let it get me down. I am actually at a good place emotionally and want to keep it that way. Thanks for your support!