So, I didn't blog yesterday. Probably didn't notice---but I did it on purpose too. I had a really hard day yesterday and still am a little disturbed.
I just do not have energy. (One reason why I started all of this.) I feel like I am always worn down and tired. (Some of you know that I have suffered from depression in the past, but this feels different.) I feel like either I am always sick, or Kate is sick. My old stomach problems have started to surface again, and now I am starting the whole stupid process of "helping" me with new doctors down here. I hate doctors. I feel like they always pass the buck and fill me up with drugs.
There is just a lot of dumb things I feel are going on with me, but basically I just don't feel like myself and feel like I have energy to do the things that I would like to. I feel frustrated at the fact that it is so hard for me to lose weight and have a difficult time accepting the fact that I will never be "skinny". I'm frustrated that I am still suffering from the "flu" and have my stupid cough. I am frustrated that I have dumb stomach problems. I am frustrated that just as soon as I got over with the worst of the flu, I started my period and started up with bad cramps again.
I am rambling. Can you tell I am frustrated? I need help.
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3 comments:
Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. I wish I knew how to help. I hit the wall about a year and half ago and I'm still stuck right up against it. It is frustrating. I would do the Windsor Pilates 20 minute work out in the morning and then I felt really good afterwards. I feel the same way after yoga. It is good for the mind, body, and spirit. Helps you feel better about the whole situation. Anyway, worth a try. Good luck. Keep up the good work. You are doing awesome. Seriously. You didn't have a single piece of Halloween candy. That's amazing! I don't have that much willpower or self-control - one of the two.
Jen I did notice you were absent and I'm sorry that you're feeling crappy. All I can think about it is trying to be positive and make the most of what you have. I just read Elder Wirthlin's conference talk last night called "Come What May and Love It" and it was a great reminder to be positive and take what we have learn from it.
I hope you can remember that you are beautiful and you are WORTH IT. You can do it, and no matter the reason that makes you not feel up to exercising or eating well, try to remember that you will feel happier when you make those healthier choices. It sure isn't easy especially when your body isn't feeling well, but I hope you stay positive.
I love you Jen and I'm thinking of you.
Ah sweetie, I'm sorry. It's amazing how life is so hard sometimes. I feel for you with the visiting doctors frequently...I seriously go to the doctors for my infertility treatment constantly. It sucks. You can handle it, though! Take each day at a time. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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