happy thanksgiving

Week Seven...already.

Week Seven's Goals:
1. Exercise 3 times this week.
2. Enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner, but not eat too much
3. Write down a list of the things I am most grateful for this year in my journal
4. Try to eat more veggies (cooked for my stomach's sake)

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!!!

Week Six Review

So this week actually was pretty good! I worked out 4 times and I actually felt physically better this week than I have the last couple of weeks. However, my diet wasn't so good according to standards, but I ate food that I know would be easy on my stomach, and thus....I was much happier.

I also found that I can do ball exercises when Kate is awake. She thinks it is hilarious to watch me "play" around with a big 'ole ball and will come over to bounce with me every so often. She is so funny. I also got a smaller basketball size exercise ball that she loves to play with. We work out together! :)

I also started taking BIO 35. It is a vitamin supplement that is supposed to help boost your energy levels and lower the chemicals in your body that produce the effects of stress. I have only been taking it for a couple of days now, and they say it takes a good few weeks for it really to start working. But, I tell you what....I would pay any amount of money (well, almost) if this stuff works. I have heard from a few friends that it does, so I look forward to seeing the final product. I will keep you updated.

All in all, I had a good week. I tried extra hard to push myself in ways that I normally wouldn't. Plus, the Utes won so it was an even better week!

Jen's Week Six

This week's goals:
1. Exercise 4 times
2. Do sit-ups every night
3. Not say one negative thing (out loud, it's hard not to think it) about myself.
4. Watch the BYU vs. Utah game! Go Utes!

***If you already haven't, please read the previous blog.

Week Five Review---An Impasse

Well, the good news is I completed my goals. (Except one night I didn't write in my journal only because I was up until 2:00 and totally spaced it.) My workouts were all really good and I actually got sore from them, but not too sore. Doing my ball exercises are really helping my muscles tone, too. Oh, and I've lost 5 pounds.

The bad news is; I'm at an impasse. I don't know what to do. You see, I have gasteroparesis. Something I have been diagnosed with for a couple of years. It's a chronic disease and comes in cycles for me. In fact, this is the reason I quit teaching two years ago (actually right at this time of year, too). I was so sick that my body wasn't digesting food hardly at all and it was starting to effect the other parts of my body too. For example; sleep, energy, immune system, etc. My doctors encouraged me to refrain from all stress and stay in bed as much as possible in order to get out of the paresis cycle and get better.

Well much to my dismay, it has started to act up again. Especially in the last couple of weeks. I HATE using this as an excuse but it makes it REALLY hard for me to eat healthy. Why? Well, because the foods that are the healthiest for you (such as veggies and high fiber foods) are the worst for me. They don't get digested in my stomach and sit there making me sick. At times, really sick. And, if I don't start doing things that help my gasteroparesis, the cycle will continue to get worse and will eventually get to a point where there is nothing I can do about it. My dear Aunt Jan also has this condition and because of it has been home bound for the last 5-ish years. She is always in pain, never has much energy----needless to say it has taken away her normalcy in life. Thankfully, I have control over mine right now (to some extent) and can't let it get to that point.

So my problem? Eating right. I am going to stop posting the food I eat----because I am embarrassed and because it isn't that "healthy". Plus, I will be going on liquid diets and soft food diets and you don't need to read about that.

BUT----I am going to continue my blog. I SO want to improve my health in the other ways that I have control over. I am going to continue to create goals each week. I am going to strive to exercise 4 times a week. And, once I get my stomach problems under control (which actually might be the entire reason I have had no energy at all for the last three months) I plan on trying to get back on track with eating well.

So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE continue to check up on me. I will not be blogging every day, but will try to give updates during the week. I will for sure give weekly reviews and let you know how things are going and how I am meeting my goals. I'm so sorry----I hope you understand. This is actually really embarrassing for me and I feel some shame in doing this. But, I'm not going to let it get me down. I am actually at a good place emotionally and want to keep it that way. Thanks for your support!

Jen's Week Five

Weekly Goals:
1. Exercise 3 times this week
2. Write 5 things I like about myself each night in my journal

I'm keeping things simple this week. Simplicity = Success

Sunday, November 9th:
Food---
Breakfast: none
Lunch: hot chocolate and toast
Dinner: a little bit of spaghetti, half of a banana
Snack: warm, homemade tapioca pudding
***My stomach has been acting up (from my gastroparesis). I may have to go on a liquid, then soft, food diet again. No fun.
Exercise---
Nope. But, I did get a nice rest in! I love Sunday naps.

Sunday, November 10th:
Food---
Breakfast: cereal
Lunch: granola bar, lunch meat, bread
Dinner: BLT
Dessert: shared a coke and churro with Dan
*** My stomach is still way sick and guess what. Went and got my medicine....$200 bucks. No joke. That made my stomach even worse.
Exercise---Yes, but it was very unconventional. I walked around Costco with Dan for seriously an hour. We went up and down every single isle. I wasn't planning on that being my exercise, but since we didn't get home until 8:00, that ended up being it! Ha!
So today I indulged in some flavor and tomorrow I will be too. It's Dan's birthday and I know I will at least be having cake. But, I am not going to feel bad about it. I'll just try to be more active. This week I want to focus more on my internal health than anything. That way I can find the motivation and such I need and stop being so frustrated.S

Tuesday, November 11th: Happy Birthday, Dan!!!
Food---
Breakfast: multi-grain cheerios
Lunch: string cheese, yogurt, whole wheat ritz crackers
Dinner: Rudy's BBQ. Sooooo good. Plus a little bit of birthday cake.
Exercise---
Just a few stretches, sit-ups, etc. My stomach was sick this morning, but I am actually feeling better tonight.

Wednesday, November 12th:
Food---
Breakfast: um, bad breakfast---just a few crackers
Lunch: string cheese, whole wheat crackers
Dinner: chicken and dumpling soup, asparagus, and peaches
Exercise---
Yup. Kate and I went for an hour walk today. Then I cleaned (scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed) our two bathrooms. I am also feeling much better emotionally today. I am in a better place and feel more motivated. I, however, am still having trouble with my stomach (hence the crackers in the morning and afternoon). But my energy is much better than last week as well.

Thursday, November 13th:
Food---
Breakfast: multi-grain cheerios
Lunch: pb/h sammy and half a string cheese
Dinner: pizza and a little bit of Dr. Pepper (Dan "made" dinner from Papa Johns)

Exercise---
Yes, I did ball exercises and weights. I haven't done that for a long time. We'll see if I am sore tomorrow. :)

Week Four Review

Honestly, things have been hard for the last two weeks.

I haven't felt good for the majority of the time. I've been tired---way too tired. And, fundamentally I have been trying to adjust to a new lifestyle here in Texas where I feel like I don't know anyone and don't have a "life". I haven't gotten out much (because of a sick child and being sick myself) and I am sure that all these things just added up to me just----well, hitting a wall.

I still was pretty good at watching what I ate this week, but I didn't get out and exercise like I should have. So, I didn't reach all my goals. This week I DO feel guilty about it because I choose not to do the things that I should have. Last week I had no control, but this week I did. Guilt and frustration are basically what is controlling me right now.

So where do I go from here? Well, I am going to try and to continue to push on. I'm hoping that this upcoming week will be better and that my attitude will change, too. The good news is that I haven't given up yet. I still want these changes....I guess I've just pulled over to the side of the road right now on my journey to this change. I'll get back on soon.

I'm happy to get an advice or help from y'all. If there's anything that I've learned in life, it's that the hardest changes you have to make in life are definitely worth it---but you should never have to try to do it on your own. The more you open up to people and let them help, the easier change becomes.

So why the picture of Kate? Well, she's my best inspiration. Her innocence, love and cute little kisses help me remember why I want this in the first place. My sweet baby....I thank Heavenly Father for her every day.

inspiration : marathon

This past Sunday was the ING Marathon in New York City. It is always held the first weekend in November and people come from all over the world to cross the finish line in Central Park. I have always thought that running a marathon is an amazing feat, but not one I am interested in attempting. I'm not a runner.However, nothing makes me want to run a marathon like watching a marathon.

Every year on marathon day we walk to Central Park after church. It is incredibly inspiring to watch these individuals tackle this huge challenge: young, old, big, small, wheelchairs, prosthetic legs. You see it all! I always end up clapping through my tears as I think about the great personal goal they are accomplishing.

For some runners it is their first marathon and others have run many. I don't know how they do it when they get to the tough spots, or what motivates them to keep going, but some how they push on. Maybe it's the people standing on the sidelines shouting their names, the bands playing every couple of miles, or seeing their name on a poster. Maybe it is thinking about all of the training they have put in to get to that day and knowing they are so close (even if they still have 4 miles to go).

Watching the marathon is so inspiring to me. I don't know if it is something I could do, but I may want to try one day. Seeing that in writing scares me already. But the people out there running convince me that it can be done. I could do it if I really wanted to... I think.

Hitting a wall----hard.

So, I didn't blog yesterday. Probably didn't notice---but I did it on purpose too. I had a really hard day yesterday and still am a little disturbed.

I just do not have energy. (One reason why I started all of this.) I feel like I am always worn down and tired. (Some of you know that I have suffered from depression in the past, but this feels different.) I feel like either I am always sick, or Kate is sick. My old stomach problems have started to surface again, and now I am starting the whole stupid process of "helping" me with new doctors down here. I hate doctors. I feel like they always pass the buck and fill me up with drugs.

There is just a lot of dumb things I feel are going on with me, but basically I just don't feel like myself and feel like I have energy to do the things that I would like to. I feel frustrated at the fact that it is so hard for me to lose weight and have a difficult time accepting the fact that I will never be "skinny". I'm frustrated that I am still suffering from the "flu" and have my stupid cough. I am frustrated that I have dumb stomach problems. I am frustrated that just as soon as I got over with the worst of the flu, I started my period and started up with bad cramps again.

I am rambling. Can you tell I am frustrated? I need help.

Cheapest, Yummiest, Healthiest Dinner Ever!

Anyone who knows me well knows that I always improvise on recipes or make them up completely. Today was actually a success. I LOVED IT! I thought it was blog worthy. You should definitely try this one even if you don't like squash. My lil guy even loved it and he hates squash.

Spaghetti Squash Dinner
1 Spaghetti Squash
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1 chopped onion (I used dried onion flakes)
1 clove garlic, minced (I used the stuff that is already minced)
1 Roma tomato
1/2 c. Shredded Mozzarella cheese
1/2 t salt
1/4 t pepper
1 Tbsp Basil (I used dried basil leaves)

1. Slice squash lengthwise (clean out seeds) and place cut sides down on cookie sheet (lightly greased). Bake at 350 for 30 min.

2. Meanwhile, spray a skillet with cooking spray and saute onion, peppers and garlic. Stir in tomatoes and basil and cook it only until tomatoes are warm.

3. When squash is done use a fork to clean out the insides and throw away the skin. Put in a bowl and add salt and pepper. Then mix everything together including cheese.

This fed us three so you may need to double or triple it according to your family size. I was actually surprised at how good it was. YUM!!!

Jen's Week Four

Weekly Goals:
1. Exercise 4 times---try out new yoga video
2. Do at least a few sit-ups every night
3. Read my patriarticle blessing
4. Make my bed daily

Sunday, November 2nd: Can you believe it's November? Seriously!
Food---
Breakfast: chex cereal
Lunch: pb and honey sandwich
Dinner: teriyaki chicken with rice, beans, carrots and broccoli
Snack: 100 cal. pack of Lorna Doones, pretzels
Exercise---
Nope. But, I think I'll finally feel well enough to do it tomorrow. I also feel more motivated today than I did yesterday.

Monday, Nov. 3rd:
Food---
Breakfast: Oatmeal
Lunch: Soup, salad and breadsticks from Olive Garden. So yum.
Dinner: Egg sandwich, celery and carrot sticks
Snack: 100 cal. pack of cookies
Exercise---
Walked for 45 min. with Katie.

Tuesday, November 4th: Election Day---I VOTED!Food---Breakfast: Oatmeal; Lunch: pb&h sammy; Dinner: meatball sammy. Not the best eating day, I was on the run for most of it and didn't put a lot of thought into it. Oh, Dan also got a coke today and I thoroughly enjoyed partaking of a few drinks. So yum.Exercise---Yes, but not much. I just did some exercises with my ball weights and exercise ball. Then some stretches, sit-up, push-ups and such. Some is much better than none. However, I felt like I have been running around doing errands today and my body feels exhausted, so I am positive I got some exercise doing my daily routine today.

Thursday, Nov. 6th:Food---Breakfast: banana. Lunch: turkey sammy, string cheese. Dinner: sloppy joes, sweet potato strips, apple and cheese. I will also have some kind of snack before I go to bed, but I will make sure it is a healthy one.Exercise---Went for a walk with Dan, Kate, Mel, Adam and Kale. It wasn't that long, but a walk nonetheless.

Friday, November 7th:

Food---Breakfast: grape nuts, Lunch: banana and yogurt, Dinner: taco soup with the fixings, pumpkin bread, 3 tootsie rolls, lemonade, and one pumpkin chocolate chip cookie. We had dinner at a friends house, and I induldged. It was really good.

Exercise---Nope. Still trying to find motivation. But, at least I am continuing this blog which is a good sign that I haven't given up. Eh?

Week Three Review

The flu virus----GET YOUR SHOTS!!!

Well, this week was a complete sham! I didn't complete ONE of my goals, this week. However, I don't feel that guilty about it because I had no control over getting the flu. I felt miserable, but I am feeling much better now and think that by Monday I will be able to start exercising again---so that's good, right? I'll just use the same goals for next week.

As far as food goes, I really didn't eat much this week but I also didn't eat healthily. I also will start being better again this week. BUT, I didn't eat one piece of Halloween Candy. Not one! And, believe me, I was tempted. But then I decided I just wasn't going to have any and then I wouldn't have to stop myself from eating too much, or from feeling guilty. And, it worked.

Exercising was also a joke. I did good for a couple of days, but I didn't do my yoga like I wanted. However, I did weigh myself this morning and I have lost two more pounds, for a total of four 1/2 pounds. Yea me.

I've hit a wall, kinda. I don't have as much motivation as I did before. Maybe it's because I have been sick and have no energy again, but I am not going to give up. I'm just going to push myself this next week. It's always hard to change your habits----and I really do want to change. I'm just struggling to find all the motivation,and energy. The one thing that is going for me in the weather. It's still in the mid 80's and I have no excuse for coldness and not getting out to exercise (once I am better!!!).