Non-healthy sleeping habits

The last couple of weeks I have not been sleeping well at night. I find myself laying in bed (thinking, usually) for hours on end. YET, I am so stinkin' tired ALL the time. What is my deal? I feel like it's a vicious cycle that I can't pull myself out of. Any ideas?

(FYI, I have been stressed with a lot of things lately so I know that contributes to it. I lay awake thinking of things I need to do but usually get up and write them down so I can get it out of my mind. I think about my young women and my yw calling a lot too. A lot. Yes, I have also tried getting up and out of bed. Yes, I have also tried reading and such. Yes, I have tried sleeping pills. They usually work but I don't want to depend on them.)

Re-vamp

I made this blog intending just to lose weight. However, now I realize that there is so much more to being healthy than just being "skinny". A truly healthy person is fit physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This will now be my journey getting to a healthier, happier me.

Sometimes I will focus on the emotional aspect as I go through trials there. Other times I will look at the emotional/mental part of my life. And, all the while, I hope to improve my eating habits and look for fun, new ways to lose weight and get in shape!

Having a good day yourself? Having a bad day? Let's break it down to the roots and focus on getting healthy, all around, together!

Favorite Breakfast Right Now

Honestly, very good. DAN even likes it. (Thanks for the recipe, Amber.)

about 1/4 c. vanilla yogurt
handful frozen strawberries
a scoop of chocolate protein powder (I use slim fast)
a few ice cubes
milk (just to the consistency you want)

I like it thick, so I don't use much milk. But really, this is very good. The first sip tastes a little like slim fast, but from then on out---it really tastes like a regular milkshake/smoothie.

Long time coming

I'm trying to get back on track. Don't know quite how yet....but I am working towards it.

After being shut in most of the summer and just getting off a delicious diet of cruise cuisine, I'm definitely feeling the aftermath. Suggestions?

Mermaid or Whale?

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?”

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman in the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends - dolphins, sea lions, curious humans. They have an active sex life, and they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with all their sea friends. They play and swim in the seas of the world, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone and everything in the world.

Mermaids, on the other hand, don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis.. Fish or human? They wouldn’t have sex lives because stories tell that they kill men who get close to them. Besides, how could they have sex? Just look at them...where is IT? Therefore, they wouldn’t have kids either. And what man would want to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a piece of chocolate with my friends, and a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads. When there is no more room in our heads, the information and wisdom distribute out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, “Good grief, just look how smart I am!”

Excuses?

It's been a month (almost) and I haven't blogged. It's NOT because I have totally fallen off the bad wagon, but more so because I have been lazy with the blogging about it. Here's my problem; I'm not so sure blogging every week helps me so much. I know I need to report my progress and such---but sometimes when I am not successful due to being sick or whatever, it makes me feel guilty and even more frustrated. What should I do? Suggestions?

Here are my other dilemmas:
1. I know my stomach medicine makes me retain water. I also know my depression medication makes it quite difficult to lose weight. Should I consider switching medications? I'm really nervous too------but maybe it would be nice to see if something else works and doesn't make me retain.
2. It's really hard for me to eat "healthier foods". For example; this last week if I ate fresh veggies or fruit I would bloat up like I was 5 months pregnant. For reals. It is so uncomfortable and discouraging. Not to mention painful.
3. A lot of times with my gastroparesis I don't have an appetite and don't want to eat. This usually last for a couple of days. Now, of course I do eat throughout the day, it's just more minimal. I can't force myself to eat when I feel that way though, because then I end up getting sick to my stomach. Thus, it's really difficult for me to get on a schedule of good eating habits.
4. My periods have been HORRIBLE the last 6 months. I have going to the doctor in about two weeks to get checked out, but overall, one weeks out of the month I have NO energy and find myself sitting on my butt trying to get through the day.

I am sick of excuses but what do I do?

Maybe I should go on my old strict gastroparesis diet? (soft foods, all the time?) Maybe that would help my stomach to the point where I can not feel so sick all the time. But what kind of fun is eating soft foods all the time? Yogurt and applesauce get old real quick!

Maybe I should try new depression medication. Maybe it would help me lost weight quicker.

Maybe I should stick to the meds I have because I know they work and I don't want to mess with it.

Maybe I should stop worrying about things so much--especially my weight---and just take it a day at a time. I dunno.

Last night I broke down and told Dan how frustrated I was that I want change in my life but how do I bring it about when I feel sick and tired all the time. I have a chronic illness---and I know that many of you don't understand it, but try to imagine what it is like to be sick almost every day. It's very frustrating. I don't want to use it as en excuse. Believe me I would love to live a normal life (as far as being well is concerned), I would love it!!!!

Please know this is embarrassing and difficult for me to talk about.

So what do I do? I am SO open for suggestions.