Excuses?

It's been a month (almost) and I haven't blogged. It's NOT because I have totally fallen off the bad wagon, but more so because I have been lazy with the blogging about it. Here's my problem; I'm not so sure blogging every week helps me so much. I know I need to report my progress and such---but sometimes when I am not successful due to being sick or whatever, it makes me feel guilty and even more frustrated. What should I do? Suggestions?

Here are my other dilemmas:
1. I know my stomach medicine makes me retain water. I also know my depression medication makes it quite difficult to lose weight. Should I consider switching medications? I'm really nervous too------but maybe it would be nice to see if something else works and doesn't make me retain.
2. It's really hard for me to eat "healthier foods". For example; this last week if I ate fresh veggies or fruit I would bloat up like I was 5 months pregnant. For reals. It is so uncomfortable and discouraging. Not to mention painful.
3. A lot of times with my gastroparesis I don't have an appetite and don't want to eat. This usually last for a couple of days. Now, of course I do eat throughout the day, it's just more minimal. I can't force myself to eat when I feel that way though, because then I end up getting sick to my stomach. Thus, it's really difficult for me to get on a schedule of good eating habits.
4. My periods have been HORRIBLE the last 6 months. I have going to the doctor in about two weeks to get checked out, but overall, one weeks out of the month I have NO energy and find myself sitting on my butt trying to get through the day.

I am sick of excuses but what do I do?

Maybe I should go on my old strict gastroparesis diet? (soft foods, all the time?) Maybe that would help my stomach to the point where I can not feel so sick all the time. But what kind of fun is eating soft foods all the time? Yogurt and applesauce get old real quick!

Maybe I should try new depression medication. Maybe it would help me lost weight quicker.

Maybe I should stick to the meds I have because I know they work and I don't want to mess with it.

Maybe I should stop worrying about things so much--especially my weight---and just take it a day at a time. I dunno.

Last night I broke down and told Dan how frustrated I was that I want change in my life but how do I bring it about when I feel sick and tired all the time. I have a chronic illness---and I know that many of you don't understand it, but try to imagine what it is like to be sick almost every day. It's very frustrating. I don't want to use it as en excuse. Believe me I would love to live a normal life (as far as being well is concerned), I would love it!!!!

Please know this is embarrassing and difficult for me to talk about.

So what do I do? I am SO open for suggestions.